In the beginning...

So I've begun my search for "the perfect agent" (IE- someone who says yes and won't charge me for it until I get to put a copy of my ms on my bookshelf, preferably hardcover, with a pretty picture and a cover price of about $20)

My first hurdle has been the query letter. Oh, I went to sites, looked up 'the perfect example', I even slightly plagerized the Good Fiction Query Letter from Writers Market, but felt guilty and went back and changed the wording. I think I got it just perfect. My happy ass goes to agents' websites, finds out their submission guidelines, and jumps right in.

Then I found, the now dark, Miss Snark blog. I did it all wrong. ALL WRONG. I was simpering, flattering, and, generally idiotic. Looking back at it, I wish I had the flexibility to shove my own foot up my ass. My happy ass is now a sad ass.

But I am solidering on! Granted, I haven't gotten any 'no' replies back, but with that query letter... seriously. I'm just mad at myself that I already sent it to my 'dream agent', Jodi Reamer. Stupid, stupid me. Maybe she'll shred it and give some hamsters some nice, soft bedding. Either that or she'll stamp "dumbass" across it and send it back in my SASE (thank GOD I remembered to do that!)

One good thing I have found in my search for agents, is a whole new reading list. I was looking through Laura Rennert's list of authors, and found Christina Meldrum's 'Madapple'. Freaking amazing. It also spurred me back into my writing for a little more editing. It's amazing what clarity you get on your work when you take a few days away from it to spend time watching mind-numbing (Pineapple Express) movies.

It's also made me realize the book I'm peddling, 'Pomegranate Seeds', doesn't quite fit into the YA category. I'm probably going to push it as Commercial Fiction, now, but for some reason, that scares me. Commercial Fiction seems too... big for me. Too general, I suppose, but then, it is a way to get more readers.


The Offending Letter, full of puke worthy crap:

September 3, 2008
Phil McKracken

Dear Mr. Kracken:

My 100,000-word novel, Pomegranate Seeds, is a love story in the same vein as Meg Cabot and Christina Meldrum. With the young adult market today, there are more and more readers looking for the unusual. With the avalanche of vampire, witch, and shape-shifter books that have flooded the shelves, I believe that religion is an area that has been left unexplored. After taking a look at some of the books you have gotten published, I believe that my story, which runs on the religious / supernatural, will be a good addition to your collection.

Essentially, there are three basic principles that nearly every religion is based on. 1: Treat other people well and live a good life, 2: A major event had to happen to bring creation into existence, and, finally, 3: There will be punishment if you don’t follow #1. These three principles are the basis for Pomegranate Seeds.

God began to feel pity for the fallen angels about 1,500 years ago, so he decreed that they, who are now known as demons, might attempt redemption if they can live a faithful, sinless life on Earth. When they heard of this, stirrings of jealousy rippled through the angels in Heaven. They also wanted to live a life as a human; it seemed like the ultimate adventure for creatures that could not die. God granted them their request, but on one condition: If they did not live pure lives on Earth, they would be cast into Hell, as demons. This story, told from the perspectives of Elijah, an angel, Korbin a demon, and Haleigh, a human. Former friends, now sworn enemies, Haleigh is the human girl who gets caught between Elijah and Korbin when they meet on Earth for the first time since their falling out. When Haleigh learns of an ancient burden she carries, the three of them- along with another angel, and a half-breed- must work together to save existence as we know it from a disgruntled band of demons.

Although I have enjoyed writing for many years, I have never pursued publication. The only credential I have is a wide selection of young adult novels that are dog-eared and falling apart from being well loved, sitting on the bookshelf next to my bed. I whole-heartedly believe that if you write about what you love, it shines through your words and into the minds of your audience.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for taking the time to consider adding Pomegranate Seeds to your impressive collection of titles. At this time, I have not sent query letters to any other agents or publishers, though I will be contacting a few in the coming weeks. I hope that you enjoy reading my novel as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Respectfully,
Katy Kellogg


And to top it all off, I didn't even sign it.